Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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