Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
