I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
