This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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