go do what you do best...puke behind churches
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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