he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Randomize
