I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
