I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
its not stalking. its research.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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