sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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