My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
