It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Randomize