therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
