that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
