in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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