Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
