You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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