that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I got inside last night via doggy door
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
