belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
Randomize
