rhymes with "ouble enetration"
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize