after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
