Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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