You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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