I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
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