I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Randomize
