no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
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