Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Randomize
