I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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