I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Randomize
