things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize