So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I want her autograph on my taint
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
Randomize
