Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
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