I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
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