big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Randomize
