Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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