Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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