You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
