Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
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A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
I was not drunk enough for that final.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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