so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
