Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park