The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.