Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
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