I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
