Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize