New low: just hacked my moms facebook
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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