I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
