Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
