Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
