If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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