in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
