the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Your cock deserves a montage
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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