Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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