just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
it's great music for shaving your balls
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
