He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
