fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize