what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
