Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize