Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
She came home wasted 'not wantin to talk about it' so for revenge I woke her up with a dutch oven and she puked all over me and the bed. I can't win.
Dude I told you 22 year olds shouldn't get married
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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