Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
