who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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