i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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